Friday, October 29, 2010

Fat Hate, Size-ism and Marie Claire Magazine

Fat Hate is a horrible thing and being a sizest is a form of discrimination and bigotry. In case you haven't read the Marie Claire Article , here it is:
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television

Now I have not blogged in a while but I really feel the need to speak out on this issue.

I think perhaps the most disturbing part of the article here is this quote from the Marie Claire article below

"To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroin addict slumping in a chair "

.... It is narrow minded bigoted views put out by the media such as this that make young people that has created such an epidemic of poor self esteem problems in America's youth.

As many of you know I am a Plus Size Model and Actress and former National Beauty Queen; However, I am what by definition is considered Morbid Obese.

During my time as a National Plus Size Pageant Queen have had the opportunity to visit classrooms speaking to students about self acceptance and positive self-esteem. My Platform has always been "Beauty does not come in a Size", Promoting Positive Self-Esteem in America's Youth.

I have found through my travels into Classrooms throughout the United States that Poor Self Image is a major issue that abounds in our Young Society. I believe that promoting diversity and education are the keys to making our Children successful as the future leaders of our Country. I strongly believe that if a child discovers his or her true beauty at an early age, he or she will live much happier, productive and successful lives. My titles opened so many doors for me and gave me the opportunity to address this serious issue that is affecting so many of our children. Being a Plus Size Beauty Queen has allowed me to walk into classrooms with my crown and sash- looking very different from the "beauty queen" they are used to seeing in the media, and immediately they begin asking questions- These questions allows a wonderful transition and introduction to discussing differences between people and how the media’s perception of Beauty is not the only definition of Beauty. It is important for children to be comfortable in their own skin, and the media giving us these unrealistic images to attain to that begins to brainwash American Children at a very early age.

I have spent the past 10 years of my life fighting the common misconception of beauty and to educate Children that Beauty is not defined by Size or any other factor. Articles such as this make me wish I had been around to talk to the author of this article as a child.

No human being is completely happy with their appearance. If you ask anyone (including those that the media portray as beautiful) I bet they would tell you there is something they would like to change about their body. This is a normal feeling that everyone or every shape and size feels at some point; however the key is making peace with yourself and knowing while there are some things you would like to change about yourself, these things do not define who you are. True Beauty is determined by Actions and interactions with others. Just to be ascetically pleasing does not make a person beautiful.

If you also read the comment the author writes in her apology on the website she states:

"To that point (and on a more personal level), a few commenter’s and one of my friends mentioned that my extreme reaction might have grown out of my own body issues, my history as an anorexic, and my life-long obsession with being thin."

After reading this I feel so bad for the author of the Marie Claire article. I wish I was older or had the opportunity to speak to Maura Kelly when she was a little girl. I wish I had the opportunity to let her know that she was beautiful no matter what her issues were with her body, before she became so bitter, resentful and hateful. Before she felt the need to use her position as a journalist to become to bully and spread hate against those so different from the media’s perception of beauty.

The other ironic factor here is that we live in a country where 52% of all people could be considered Plus Size. This means that we are allowing a minority percentage control images in the media. Isn’t it about time that the American majorities represented?

I think People of all shapes; sizes and backgrounds should be on television.

Why shouldn’t shows like “Mike and Molly” be on the air? Why shouldn’t “normal” people be on TV?

If there were more shows like this it would help redefine the standards of “beauty” and perhaps help teach our children that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and color.

In order to stop hate, discrimination and bigotry like this article we need shows like “Mike and Molly”. If there were a more even source of plus size role models, standard size and more diverse backgrounds, religion, race, and sexual orientations then perhaps children in America would have less self esteem problems.

The media has recently been full of children who have taken their own lives because of bullying, bigotry, and self esteem and self acceptance issues.

I am so disappointed, appalled, and shocked in the irresponsibility Marie Claire and Hearst Publications has shown allowing an article such as this to be published. Especially with the recent events that have been in the media revolving the multiple deaths of young teens that committed suicide because they were faced hate and bigotry. While many of these teen had reasons other than weight, it is believed that views in regards to their situations were very similar to the harsh views expressed in this article.

For all the Teenagers who are reading this please know that you must first believe in yourself and love yourself before you can ever expect anyone else to do so. Be confident and believe in your strengths, always know that what may seem to make you different to others really is what makes you beautiful and unique.

It does not matter what economic class you belong to or what size, shape, gender, religion, sexual orientation. Embrace your uniqueness and understand that YOU control your destiny.

On a personal note I would like to Thank Ms. Kelly for writing her article because if she had not taken the time to write such a biased, bigoted article then a dialogue over the misconceptions that the media presents might not ever been opened on such a large level.

And much like Pandora’s Box once opened the topic has been released and cannot be stuffed back in the box. It is up to us as a majority to speak up and let America know that we will not be content to remain in the background as second class citizens and we want our chance to be in the spotlight too.

The following is a list of Hearst Magazines just for reference:

· Cosmopolitan >>

· Country Living >>

· Esquire >>

· Food Network Magazine >>

· Good Housekeeping >>

· House Beautiful >>

· Harper's Bazaar >>

· Marie Claire >>

· O, The Oprah Magazine >>

· Popular Mechanics >>

· Redbook >>

· Seventeen >>

· Town&Country >>

3 comments:

  1. You're right: this is dialogue we had to have. Here's hoping it leads to some needed change.

    My own reply here over at The Eclectic Tripewriter:

    http://eclectictripewriter.wordpress.com/2010/10/29/and-they-called-it-fatty-love/

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  2. Thank you for this! I am now followingyou (i am Katys friend). My blog is http://www.ramblingsofastayathomemom.com.

    This is a very well written blog in response to a horrendous article. I hope the person in the article can come to terms withtheir issues!

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